Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
