just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
