your room smells of hookers.
And success
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
