The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
