You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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