If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
