You're completely useless in the revolution.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
