Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
