Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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