He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
