Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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