i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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