i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
