Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
