you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
