i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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