I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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