This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
