walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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