Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
