YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
don't judge my taste in strippers
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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