i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
