I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
