Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
