He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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