Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
