Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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