Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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