Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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