I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
