Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
well you can't waste a boner
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
