So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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