in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
