we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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