I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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