I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
wow bdsm is so cute
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
