her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
