Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
