I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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