that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
