i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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