If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
