That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
