I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
