So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
