She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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