umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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