singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
