ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
