the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
