dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just found puke in my bra..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
